Amazing hubby and I journeyed to the Akron office for my day 3 ultrasound and to talk with Doc about whether to do another round of injections or to do a laparoscopy first to make sure I don't have any scar tissue or endometriosis. Doc came in, stated he was super bummed last cycle didn't work, and grabbed the trusty vag cam. Uterus looks fine, left ovary looks fine, and he's calmly talking to hubby and I about next cycle's plan. Then he swings over to the right side and I hear "Oh Jenny Jen". Every time he has something not happy to tell me, he always calls me Jenny Jen. No joke. I could barely muster the strength to look at the monitor, and when I did, I knew instantly what I was seeing. 2 giant cysts in my ovary. You may be thinking that this isn't good and you would be abso-freaking-lutely right. Ovarian cysts are bad, and a semi-common side effect of follicle hyperstimulation (ie: shooting up with fertility drugs). If you 'feed the cyst' with more drugs, they can grow even larger, cause torsion of your ovary and cut off the blood supply - ultimately causing you to lose the ovary and all of the precious eggs that live there... forever and ever, amen.
The term that is used in fertility talk is "getting benched." That's exactly what it feels like. You have to sit on the sidelines and just freaking wait some freaking more while everyone else gets to keep playing. You miss out on the whole game. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, just sit in infertility purgatory. Tears welled up for a second, but I held it back. I'm glad hubby was there because Doc said a lot of different things and my head was kinda in a fog of depression. I snapped back out of it when I heard him tell me he was writing a prescription for birth control. Not that he doesn't want me to get pregnant on my own (hahaha- riiiiight, like that would happen), but he wants to make sure that I have a period in about a month. With my history of 70+ day cycles, he doesn't want that to happen to me again. So, 21 days of pills, then hopefully a period, then recheck to see if the cysts have shrunk. There's no telling how long it will take for them to go away, but I'm on the bench until they do.
While we are on a forced break from treatments, he is going to schedule me for a lap surgery the 2nd week of February. Basically it's exploratory surgery to see if there are issues in my pelvis that need to be laser burned off or scraped clean. Cool, right? Recovery from that is 4-7 days, by which time I should be almost done with my pills and hopefully ready to rock and roll again.
At this point, I'm stuck. And super sad. And pretty pissed. And amazingly annoyed. And freaking furious. How & Why does this keep getting worse?
This is not mine, but close to what it looked like. The big black areas are no good.
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