CD24: It's all about time

Today, I am 11days post IUI.  I promised myself I would be strong and not test at all until the 14 day mark.  As usual, I broke down... I mean, who can really go to the dollar store, buy 4 tests, and not have the sudden urge to pee on things??  So, mid afternoon, 10 days post IUI, I got to stare at a stark white test.  For education purposes, 10 days post ovulation only has a 35% chance of giving you an accurate pregnancy test... so the odds are not good that it was telling the absolute truth.  In the irrational mind-f*ck state of infertility though, that doesn't matter.  You still have to torture yourself.  The accuracy chart that is widely passed around looks like this:

HPT accuracy DPO
10 dpo : 35%
11 dpo : 51%
12 dpo : 62%
13 dpo : 68%
14 dpo : 74%
15 dpo : 80%
16 dpo : 88%
17 dpo : 92%
18 dpo : 99%

DON’T TEST EARLY

So, I'm at the inlaws for the next two days.  The bad news is that I forgot to bring my tests with me.  The good news is also that I forgot to bring my tests with me.  My next availability to test will be Tuesday morning, which will be 13 dpo.  I will not be updating on the next few tests for a few days, mostly because if by some miracle, it turns into a positive, I need to be able to tell our parents first.  And if it keeps showing a negative, I want to make sure I'm totally out before I put it in writing.  Let me just tell you that the waiting is excruciating.  

Time is cruel.  Especially when you've done all you can do, and then you just have to wait for two weeks.  It's like a really expensive lottery game.  So far this month,  I spent $1490 on the chance to enter the lottery drawing.  You buy your ticket, and then it's like you're sitting in a room staring at the lottery balls popping in the bin for 12-14 days straight - totally consumed.  Then, the lottery dude comes in and says you've waited long enough... There are 4 red non-winner balls in the hopper and only one green winner ball (only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month).  You get one shot to get the green ball to pop to the top... the odds are not good, even when you have been pumped full of hormones and medicine.  All you can do is hold your breath and let it all ride.  

All I can do is keep waiting, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed with my stupid early negative test.  And until I get to see the 2 pink lines, I will continue to envision this picture in my head...