Being the Cool Aunt is second best

I have a new little buddy. 

He's handsome, smells good, and very cuddly... 

and he stole my heart instantly.  

You may be asking yourself how an infertile like myself handles a new baby in the family.  Well, there are a wide range of emotions, but at the end of the day, he is my nephew, and I would throw myself in front of a train to save him.  I want to teach him how to be a respectful man, just like his uncle.  I want to have movie night sleep overs and let him eat way too much candy and run wildly around the house like a little sugar-high crazy man.  I want to smother him in kisses and hugs, even when he's too old and it's not "cool" to love your family anymore.  

The phone call from my sister-in-law was excruciating when she called to tell me she was pregnant.  Not for me, but for her.  She had known of our troubles for about 5-6 months at that time.  We had had our first appointment with our reproductive endocrinologist 2 months before.  And we had been trying for 9 months at that time.  She was very upset, and I'm sure it was extremely hard for her to tell me.  They had put off trying for a little bit to try to let us have our "happy moment" first, but this is the way the cards were dealt.  I would be lying if I said I didn't cry after I got off the phone, but I quickly recovered.  How could I possibly be upset about another nephew?  

My next thoughts were "well, it's totally fine, because I will be pregnant for sure by the time that he is born, and then it won't sting at all, and then our babies can grow up together."  Well, obviously that didn't quite work out.  I had my laparoscopy 4 days before he was born.  And when I got to meet him last weekend, I just stared down at him while holding him and resting him against my fresh scars.

 

Life works that way sometimes.  You can plan all you want and hope that things work out just how you'd like.  But it's not going to happen like that.  

You roll with the punches, cry when you're in private, smile when you're in public, and most importantly - for me at least - you focus all your love on 3 little people.